SCP-0002-J

= SCP-0002-J =

Categories

 * Humor
 * Joke
 * Toilet
 * Euclid                            ---IMAGE REMOVED FOR PRIVACY REASONS---

Special Containment Procedures
SCP-0002-J is to be located on floor 36 of Site-88 in the high-value containment division's communal restroom. SCP-0002-J use is to be logged on a clipboard which is to be hung on the outside of the stall in which SCP-0002-J is located. At least one use of SCP-0002-J must be completed daily.

Description
SCP-0002-J is a sapient flush toilet located in the high-value containment division of Site-88. SCP-0002-J is capable of textual communication through any wirelessly capable device brought into its stall. The device utilized in this manner has a marked effect on the speed at which these communications are accomplished, with laptops allowing the highest volume of communication.

SCP-0002-J's continued sapience appears to be connected with regular use for its original purpose. When left unused for longer than a day, SCP-0002-J loses all anomalous properties until such a time as it is used again. SCP-0002-J, however, retains knowledge of events that occur in its immediate vicinity during such periods.

SCP-0002-J's anomalous properties were first discovered in March of 2016 by site director Dr. Phillip Foster whilst in use. At the time it was believed that SCP-0002-J's anomalous properties only manifested in the presence of cellular phones, but further testing indicated otherwise. Initial testing revealed the remainder of the object's anomalous properties.

The following is a complete log of Dr. Foster's first recorded conversation with SCP-0002-J. SCP-0002-J: Hello?

Dr. Foster: Who is this?

SCP-0002-J: Sorry. First time using one of these.

SCP-0002-J: Hey, do you think I could write a book about my life?

Dr. Foster: I don't even know who you are.

SCP-0002-J: Believe me, I've seen some crap.